After every game, my husband would ask the twins what their
favorite part of the day was. My daughter’s answer was the same every week
until the last week, “The snacks and the tunnel.” The league we joined
encourages the parents to form a tunnel after the game for all the kids to run
through. Also, parents take turns providing a snack and drink (following all
the food restrictions for those with allergies, of course) after the 45 minute
practice/match that sometimes ends at lunchtime. Awesome. (Do you think sarcasm
can be sensed in writing?)
My son also likes the snacks and tunnel, but he usually adds
that he liked scoring a goal. The league also puts all the players, who did not
score a goal during the match, on the pitch at the end and stands them in front
of the goal with the ball to let them score with no defender. Awesome. I
actually didn’t mind it the first week. It seemed to get the kids excited about
the sport and gave them some confidence. Though, I think we underestimate the
intelligence of 4-year-olds. After that first week, my kids knew what was
happening. If they didn’t score during the match, they would say, “We didn’t
score any REAL goals.” The post-regulation-play goals were not fun anymore. My
husband and I really tried to put emphasis on other parts of the game, like
stopping the other team’s attempted goal, passing to a teammate who scored, or
just flat out hustling and giving their best. Despite our efforts to make a
huge deal out of these things, they just pale in comparison to the ever-loving
goal.
The kids appeared to enjoy their 20-minute practice more
than their 20-minute game that followed, which makes sense as they were doing
something with a ball at all times. They ran drills and worked on basic
fundamentals. It was great. The games were a bit of an anomaly, though. Every
time a goal was scored, the three kids on the field for each team would huddle
on opposite sides of midfield and talk “strategy.” That’s funny. The kids got
nothing from those three minutes, except bored. No offense to the coaches, but
they are 4. They were only interested in being silly with their friends during
that time. Then, they actually recognized a half-time. Seriously? It’s a
20-minute game. Let the kids run. They are 4. They don’t get tired.
Now, the last week, when my husband asked what their
favorite part of the day was, they added one more thing … the trophies.
Awesome. I know this is a huge debate and I am clearly on the side that thinks
trophies should be earned. The reward for the kids should be that they actually
got to participate in the organized sport. It’s expensive! Maybe if we put our
kids in matching t-shirts, instead of TWO fancy uniforms that were way nicer
than what I had as a high-school varsity athlete, and skipped the trophies, we
could all save a ton of money on these once/week, 8-week programs. Thank
goodness for hand-me down cleats and the fact that these fancy uniforms will
likely fit them for the next five years.
Maybe I am overacting … I mean, they are 4. We did sign them
up for soccer, because we thought they would enjoy it, and they did. Why can’t
I say, “mission accomplished,” and be done with it? My understanding from other
mom sources is that most leagues discontinue the trophies and the snacks when
the kids get a little older. Maybe I shouldn’t be so cynical and realize that
these are the motivators for future athletic endeavors.
As usual, I am probably expecting too much from this age. I
just find these extra-curricular activities so stressful. I question my
decisions when it comes to enrolling them in these activities. I want to expose
them to everything so they will have the chance to find their talents, but I
also want to limit their activities so they can just be kids. But, the days of
kids getting together for pick-up games are long-gone. Even mom sources with
older kids tell me that just doesn’t happen anymore. Is it where we live? Is
this just life in the ‘burbs? Am I just too “old-school?”
Speaking of old-school, my husband grew up in a condo
community in New Jersey with tons of kids his age and a huge open field with
dirt, a little grass, and probably a lot of stickers. It was home to many
pick-up games of baseball, football, soccer, tag, you name it. I grew up on a
farm in Nebraska with 4 brothers. When we weren’t doing chores or homework, we
were setting up track and field events or playing baseball, badminton, or
volleyball in our spacious yard—much of our cardio chasing down the dog that
got ahold of our equipment. Or, in the colder months, playing hoops in the
barn, stepping over tools and squeezing between load-bearing studs and vehicles
for the 3-pointer and running into the doors after a layup. Sure, it had its
problems, but it was free and it was what we wanted to do.
I suppose one of these years, our kids will set their own
direction for the activities they want to do and I will stop stressing about
it. Maybe soccer practice will be replaced with guitar lessons (with the guitar
my son put on his Christmas list). Or, maybe our weekly activity will be going
to the library for a couple of hours just to read. The bottom line is … I have
no idea! Just like most challenges with parenting, there are at least two sides
to every issue and only one child like yours, whom is known best by you. The
fact is, all of this is self-regulating, and there is a fine line between
exposure and overexposure. My husband and I will continue to follow our guts
and hopefully provide the best opportunities for our crew to find health and
happiness in their lives. That’s all we REALLY want, right (I mean, besides a
professional baseball player or golfer … wink)?
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