Flipping Out at Five

Is there a stage at almost 5-years-old that I need to be warned about?

Lately, both of my 4-year-olds, who will turn 5 in August, have been acting ridiculously hormonal. They will be happy and having a great time, then with a flip of the switch, they are in full on Ross Rage mode (for you “Friends” lovers out there). It’s reminiscent of the rage I saw in my son at 3. But, at least at 3, he had a reason for his tantrums. Like the time he didn’t want to leave the park, so I acted like I was leaving him, then he finally came … with poop in his pants (wearing underwear). He was pretty mad, but not into rage mode until I put him in his car seat with the poop in his pants and drove home.

But now, it will take such a small thing to set them off. At dinner tonight (yes, we have breakfast for dinner when I’ve waited too long to plan anything, or haven’t been to the grocery store), the following came out of my son’s mouth within about 10 minutes.

(Big sigh) followed by me asking him if he was finally full after 10 pancakes? “No, I’m just disausted.”

I laugh, because it was cute. He gives me a dirty look—eyebrows down so far I almost can’t see his eyes and lips pursed so they are almost white—then said, “You make me twice times madder.”

A minute later, he pours more syrup with the spout that looks like a face, and said while laughing, “Watch the syrup throw up.” Okay … happy again.

Two minutes later, he hears his sister and dad having fun in the family room and said, “You’re annoring (annoying) me.”

My daughter, who has been pretty much an angel since birth, has started grunting and stiffening her arms with her fists to the ground when she doesn’t get her way or gets upset about something. Sometimes, she will even hit me … never full strength … almost in a joking way, but not really. I’m torn with whether to laugh at her or go apeshit on her.

And the lying … oh, the lying. They are little lies at this point, like when they tell me they brushed their teeth, but I know damn well they didn’t. I call them out for lying, which usually leads to my daughter hitting me again and saying, “How do you ALWAYS know?” I do wonder how long she will believe that Mommies and Daddies have a special magic computer chip in us that scans the brain of their children and tells us when they are lying.

Anyway, I guess this is sort of a cry for help or at least a way to see if anyone else went through this when their kids were this age. I’d love to hear your stories and your advice.

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Good Teenage Parent

A Book is Worth a Thousand Snuggles

It occurred to me recently that I may not be the only one who questioned my ability as a parent because my children refused to sit through a bedtime story the first two years of their lives.

I blogged yesterday about bed time routines and shared the fact that part of my routine with my baby is singing to him. Many people choose to read a book instead of, or in addition to, singing. But, I found with this baby and with my other two that their attention span before bed was pretty low, regardless of their level of sleepiness, and a book just made them restless. Reading before bed turned into a battle. I found myself practically tying them down just so they would listen to a damn story. That’s when I realized they might start to hate books if I was forcing this. It wasn’t until about 2-years-old that I started reading a story to my twins before bed.

The fact is, we all want our children to love books, but we are brainwashed into thinking that they HAVE to have a book before bed or we are bad parents. There was a time I thought my kids were going to be less intelligent because I wasn’t reading to them before bed. Sheesh! Now that the twins are older, story time before bed is so special. And one of my 4-year-olds is reading short stories, so I don’t think their lack of bedtime stories when they were one did any harm.

All of my kids love books, and our book time is much more productive and enjoyable during the day when they are alert, especially the first two years of life. The baby will get stuck on one book each day, and we may end up reading it 12 times in a row. He will do sign language for “more,” and now even mutters, “Mo?” especially with books that force me to make silly and sometimes embarrassing noises. Anyone read Sandra Boynton’s “Doggies” 12 times in a row? If you know this book, you can sympathize.

My point is, please do not stress if you can’t implement stories into your bedtime routine. That will not define their intelligence or their love of books. As long as they are exposed to books during the day, they will love them. But, please expose them to books and read to your children. I read a terrifying article recently that I almost didn’t believe. There are actually children entering Kindergarten classrooms without the recognition of what a book is or how to turn its pages. This is sad to me on so many levels.

So, sit down with a book and your child—even if there are no words and you have to bark like 10 different dogs and meow like a cat.

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Don’t Let the Bed Bugs Bite

I will never claim to be an expert in child rearing. However, every once in a while I like to share advice on things that have worked for me, or—more often than not—things that have NOT worked for me. No better way to learn sometimes than from mistakes.

In this case, it is something that has worked for me. This topic is on sleep habits; specifically, getting a baby/toddler to go to sleep. Today, I broke one of my own rules, mainly because I saw a selfish opportunity to hold onto a baby moment while I still can. And, after 18 months, I feel comfortable that this one day will not ruin all my work leading up to this moment.

While none of my three kids really slept through the night until they were one (meaning, 10-12 hours straight), I have always had tremendous luck in getting them to go to sleep. I attribute that to two practices. One, I do my best to maintain a consistent schedule every single day, which includes a nap time and bed time that will get my child into his bed before he is too tired (this is a real thing!). And, two, the routine leading up to sleep time is the same every day.

 

Nap time is always the same and bed time is always the same every day. Over time, you learn how much sleep your baby requires in a 24-hour period. You also learn at what time they really get sleepy. Once you learn this, make sleep time about 30 minutes before that. Putting your baby in his crib before he is asleep or before he gets too tired is a great habit to start at an early age.

This leads me to my rule breaking today. We had an active morning with music class, followed by Kid Zone play at the gym while I exercised. Baby was tired, so by the time I got to singing and rocking him, his eyelashes all of a sudden seemed to weigh 10 pounds. I just sat there and kept humming until he was asleep. (Sigh. My heart melts.) All parents love this moment, but IMHO, it’s a tough habit to break, making it that much harder for your child to ever fall asleep on his own or in the care of someone else. And, the earlier you start teaching your child to fall asleep on his own, the easier it is on everyone.

After baby is used to this, naptime and bedtime will result in very little fussing or crying—this assuming your baby is healthy and that infants with colic have grown out of that. You will hear this from many different people, and I believe in it 100 percent … “Kids not only need a routine, they want a routine.” This applies to rules, too. This reminds me, I’ll have to share our rules in a future blog.

Of course there are days when the baby might be forced to sleep in a stroller or in the car, or we may get home late from being at a friend or relatives house. He has two older siblings, making it impossible to be home for nap time every single day. But, because he is well-rested from consistencies on most other days, I find it is easier to get him to sleep if he isn’t in his own bed. Then, if it is a short nap, it’s just one day, so it doesn’t disrupt his life too much.

Also, having a few things you do leading up to naptime will make it easier if you are in a situation where your little one can’t sleep in his own bed. Even if you are able to do one or two of those things, it can send the message that it’s time to go to bed. It doesn’t have to be much. At naptime, I give him milk, change his diaper, and sing him a song while I rock him for a couple minutes. Then, I lay him down with his pacifier and lovie bear. At night, he gets a bath, milk, teeth brushing, massage with lotion, clean jammies, a song, a pacifier, and his lovie bear. If I can carry out a few of these before bed in a strange place, he recognizes it’s part of bed time.

Another trick that has worked is teaching sign language for “sleep.” You can have the strictest schedule, but some days, your little one might feel tired prior to his scheduled nap time. If I know my little guy is well-fed, well-hydrated, and getting the attention he wants, but still acts fussy, I will ask him if he wants to go night-night and do the sign for sleep. If that’s it, he will do the sign back and run to the steps waiting for me to take him up. He won’t always sleep, but sometimes I think he just needs a little alone time. I know how he feels! His siblings are a lot to take at times. (BTW, I started teaching sign language to my children right away, but their use of signs to communicate with me didn’t start until about 9 months to a year. My point is, don’t worry if you’ve been signing with your baby for 6 months and nothing is happening. One day it will just click and be so rewarding for both of you.)

One more bit of advice in getting your child to sleep, especially when they know what bugs are. Do NOT use the phrase, “Good night, sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bit.” I repeat, do NOT use that phrase, unless you want to change sheets, vacuum the floor around his bed, and sleep with him that night. See, now you can learn from one of my mistakes! Sweet dreams!

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4-Year-Old Cake Decorator

Here's an easy and super special cake idea I used for my husband's birthday cake over the weekend. Everyone knows you can have the bakery scan a photograph to put on a cake, but did you ever think of using artwork drawn by your child? 

I attempted to get the 4-year-old twins to work on this together, which ended in crying and fighting. After I wiped my tears away, it was clear there would be no forcing the boy to do more than scribbling, so I let the girl do it on her own. Boy didn't care. Shocker! So, girl came up with a picture of her dad and the twins playing baseball (in case you couldn't tell)--complete with the backward "R" in "Birthday." It was perfect!


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I Could Learn from Showbiz

As I was watching a sitcom the other night, I was making snarky comments about how out-of-touch with real life they were. With four kids, including twin babies, sitting at the table eating dinner in peace, while the adults carry on in the adjacent room. Or, how the three dads watch a basketball game at a bar with their three babies in kangaroo pouches and not … a … peep.

Courtesy youtube.com

I laughed at it all—not because it was funny—because it was a farce. Or, was it?

As far as I know, these are real live children they are using in these shows, not robots, right? And, even with the magic of editing, there still has to be a certain amount of time when these children all behave at the same time, right? So, how are they doing it? How many takes until they have a keeper? I’m convinced they must know something I do not.

I’ve had … let’s see, the twins are about 1,730 days old, and at 3 meals/day, that’s 5,190 … 5,190 takes at having a meal in peace with children at the table. Apparently, I wouldn’t make a good director.

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Barbie Clears the Pool

Not just anyone can clear an entire pool by choking on water shortly after eating a sizable fruit salad. Dang Barbie!

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