My Boys are Biters

This is roughly three and a half years ago, when my twins were one. I was scanning old pictures the other day, as I like to see the resemblances between my baby and his older siblings. Well, today, I found a striking resemblance ... my boys are biters!

In my defense of this photo, I can only imagine I was photographing a precious moment when out of the blue, Jaws goes in for the kill. He never liked anyone else getting attention from me, so that is what may have led to this unfortunate incident. I will neither confirm nor deny that he was bit back immediately after the camera hit the floor.

The Counting Game

So, the 4-year-olds yank me into the family room to show me a new game they invented called “The Counting Game.” Here’s what it was. First, put two stuffed animals in the middle of the floor. Then, chase each other around the animals while counting. After the determined number, boy stops, let’s girl pass him, then pushes her as hard as he can, launching her five feet and into the couch. Boy approaches girl and both raise their fists with their thumbs up and swing at each other while yelling, “Thumb fight!” Then, repeat.

Uh … yea … no. You’re going to hurt mommy’s couch.

Parent Bloggers—We are a Cult … and Sometimes Inspirational

Here’s what I’ve learned about the Parent Blog community in the last 5 months. It is just that … a community. It is not a competition between who has the most stalkers, who can make you pee your pants the most times (not hard since most readers have had children or are pregnant), or who can make you shed the most tears (again, not much of a feat since most moms are emotional basket-cases who haven’t slept in years and whose hormones have been bitch-slapped up and down, left and right).

Yes, there are contests from time to time—and, having tens of thousands of followers does help—but the losers are not sore, and everyone is sure to find additional blogs to add to their reading repertoire. Most of these writers, from what I can gather, write as an outlet and to pay it forward to other parents. Most of these writers have no trouble pointing out their own mistakes and shortcomings. And, most of these writers are in complete support of the other writers in this space. I am proud to be part of what has become a HUGE list of Mommy and Daddy bloggers.

One mom, in particular, made me realize what a support system this is—for writers and readers. Miss Ellen, over at Bad Word Mama, just gave me an “Inspiring Blog Award.” 

This Bad Word Mama is what she says, and makes me laugh every day. She is a rookie just like I am, but has enough content to keep you laughing for hours. She describes her blog as “An inside look at the crazy shit that goes through my head. Good Luck!!” You won’t need luck, just some Depends. Thank you, Ellen. I am honored.

As a recipient of this award, I now must tell you 7 things about myself and pass this award on to 15 other worthy bloggers.

1. I am a stay-at-home-mom to 4 ½-year-old boy-girl twins and a 14-month old baby boy, but I hate being at my house.
2. Close friends describe me as a lipstick tomboy.
3. My roots are deep in the soil of a small Nebraska farm, but my branches led me to Richmond, Virginia.
4. I got my first tattoo at age 38—just last weekend!
5. My favorite thing to watch is my husband wrestling with the kids.
6. I go through spurts of Martha Stewartism, but after collecting my supplies, they are just added to the many other unfinished projects in the closet.
7. I have a lot of windows in my house, so I’m not sure how much of a secret this is, but my secret passion is dancing like a crazy person with my kids to any and every kind of music. Even at their ages, they already think I’m a horrible dancer.

Here are the 15 bloggers I feel deserve this award. Please check them out.

ComfyTown Chronicles. GAWD not another mom blog. Shut yer cakehole I'm funny. And swear-y. Warned.

The Girl Next Door Drinks and Swears. Life’s more fun that way.

Mommy Shorts. Parental snark & entertainment from the mind of a mom with a three-year-old and a brand spankin' new baby.

Sole Searching. Welcome to our crazy, country, family, fun, farm-life with an occasional beer and and every day run. Sometimes it's a beer run, but it's always a little of both! Make yourself at home!

Moms Who Drink and Swear. I write a profanity laced blog about everything and nothing.

The Daddy Complex. Bad parenting, accidental victories & abject panic from a father of twins.

Moms Who Need Wine. Together, we revel in our imperfections and find solace in the fact that we're not going it alone. 

In the Powder Room. Social shopping with WeShop & fabulous editorial from funny, feisty women. Shop. Share. Earn. 

Mommy’s Weird. A radio DJ who is adjusting to being a Momma of two children. Main problems? Lack of sex, hot moms, and too many books and movies to review.

Rants from Mommyland. Welcome to MommyLand, where raising kids is like herding turtles. Is it bedtime yet?

Kveller. A Jewish twist on parenting.

The Creative Mama. Team of writers covering every day living with a touch of creativity.

Jamie the Very Worst Missionary. I'm Jamie Wright. I'm the Very Worst Missionary. That's really all there is to it. 

On Bramble Hill. Domestic Diva wanna be... homeschooling mom and lover of photography.

Raising Wild Things. I know where the wild things are--I'm living with them! This blog is about the hilarity (and sometimes missteps) of raising young children.

Some of these bloggers I have been following for a while, and some are brand new. Some are seasoned, some are rookies with huge potential that could use more followers. I hope you find some you like on this list.

Bloggers, if you choose to accept this award, all you have to do is leave a comment here letting me know that you received it. On your blog, tell us all 7 facts about yourself and then, pass this award on to 15 bloggers of your choosing. Mmmmwah!

Moms Get Tattoos, Too

I waited 38 years to get my first tattoo. In general, I’m kind of an all-or-nothing girl. If I don’t think I can do something big, I don’t want to do it at all. Like my blog, for example. I really only have time to make one post per week, but I said I wasn’t going to do it unless I could post at least 4-5 times/week. It was like that with the decision to get a tattoo. Most have been shocked by the size of my tattoo, considering it is my first. But, if I was going to do it, I wanted to really do it! A two-inch butterfly on my left butt cheek wasn’t going to cut it. So, why now, you ask?

1. I never had something I was passionate enough about to take this step.
2. I never before had the confidence to say, “I truly do not care what anyone else thinks, except my husband and my kids.”

My passion is my family. My family is also what has made me stronger and more confident than I have ever been my entire life. I am not afraid to say or do anything if it means defending, caring, or honoring my family. And, honestly, I couldn’t think of a better way to scream this to the world.

Hubby's Tattoo

So, my husband and I decided we would do it together—his first time, too. Both of our tattoos represent our family. My husband’s is a compilation of the zodiac signs of each of the kids and me (Saggitarius, two Leos, and a Virgo) on the inside of his forearm.

My inspiration—besides my kids—came from The Little Golden Books from the 1940s. My dad and aunt had a collection from when they were children, and recently passed them onto me and my brothers. I fell in love with the illustrations and knew that style, applied to my children’s animal representations, would make a beautiful storybook scene for my left shoulder blade.

My Storybook Tattoo

From very early in each child’s life, we labeled them as a type of animal. My 4-year-old is our monkey—at first because of his hairy shoulders and ear shape, but since then by his silly behavior and his ability to wrap his body around you so tight you don’t even feel like you are holding anything. My 4-year-old daughter is our turtle—at first because of this certain way she would lift her head and look at us when she was about 2-3 months old, but since then by her laid-back demeanor. My 14-month-old son is our bear, which was clear from day one with his growly sounds—sounds he still makes as he is falling asleep or grabbing onto his loved ones for deep snuggles and kisses. His huge bear paws for hands and his meaty and strong body type do not at all take away from this likeness. The “22” was snuck in to represent my husband. That is his “number” for all you sports fans out there.

So that’s the story of my first tattoo. I am still not cool to society. I still drive a minivan and live in suburbia. But, my kids think I’m cool, and I’m going to hold onto that as long as I possibly can.

Special thanks to The Reluctant Missy, another kick-ass mom of three--who blogs about music, ink, and sass--for the referral, advice, and friendship. And, to Adam Marton at River City Tattoo in Richmond, VA, for his professionalism and for creating this masterpiece that, thankfully, only took two hours.

To Teach Taboo or Not To

My twins say a lot of funny things. They are 4, and I am starting to think this is the peak of hilarious and memorable comments that will come out of their mouths. Some things they say—this will come as no surprise—could be considered taboo. However, I don’t have the heart to tell them most of the time. I’m afraid they will stop talking, and the entertainment value is much too important to me.

For example, over the weekend, my daughter proclaims, “When I toot and when Weber toots (her twin), I kind of like how it smells. But, when you or Daddy or Grafton toots, it’s stinky.”

First of all, let me say that I do NOT toot. She must have been smelling the dog. Now that we have that cleared up …

Part of me can’t get past the weird twin connection we have discovered here, but that can be saved for another day. The other part of me wonders when I should break the news to her that we probably shouldn’t say these kinds of things in the company of others. Of course I don’t want her to get teased for saying something like this around kids who would rant about how disgusting that is. But, the honesty and ignorance is just so damn cute and harmless right now, that I am not ready to turn that off.

When are they going to get teased for comments like this? Should I be teaching taboo now?

I'm Now Known as "My Honor"

My son thinks if he asks for something and follows it with, "my honor," that I will always say yes ... until today.

Can You Clean in Your Sleep?

I used to do the same thing when my mom asked me to clean my room.